Monday, March 31, 2008

Don't be Sceeered.

17w 4d

It's time again for a reader question. I really do love getting these and hope that more of you will crawl out of the woodwork and ask away. Don't make me put a tracker on here (you know, the trackers that broadcast what city you visit the page from)! That's right, I am resorting to threats now.

Dear Tiff and Little Luc,

With 17 weeks under your belt and 23 weeks until you meet the little one, I have to ask this. What scares you the most about the whole pregnancy/motherhood experience? I ask this because I, for one, am frightened by the whole idea of pregnancy/childbirth/being a mother.

Thank you!

Frightened in Garrettsville

Dear Frightened in Garrettsville,

What isn't scary about pregnancy and impending motherhood?! This was the perfect question to ask me this week, because I think I am fast approaching the point of FREAKING OUT. Paul and I officially began nesting this weekend (more about this tomorrow) and I distinctly remember one day talking with Paul about how in 2016 we will have an almost 8 year old. Now don't ask me how or why we were talking about this, or why that year in particular because I cannot remember. BIG surprise, huh?

First I will tackle the pregnancy part of your question. I think the scariest part of pregnancy is not knowing (at least for the first 20 weeks) if there is anything wrong with the baby. I know this is something that scares Paul the most, and me too of course. You have to be somewhat careful (without completely disrupting your life) in everything you do because there is always that, "Is what I am doing going to affect the baby?" question looming in the back of your mind. Apart from that, which you honestly cannot let put a damper on your pregnancy (positive thinking is key for me) I think labor is going to be, by far the scariest part. Let's pretend the baby is in the proper position here and not breech. It's not so much the pain (they make drugs for that) but the fear of the unknown. When will my water break? Will I make it to the hospital in time? Will I be able to have the epidural? How long will I labor for? Will I need an emergency c-section?

Notice that I didn't include the alien-esque movement in my tummy, which I know is a concern for some, *cough, cough*. That might be one of my favorite parts so far, if only because I know he is okay and likes what I am doing at the moment (this is what I tell myself).

As for motherhood, that is just plain scary! You are responsible for a living, breathing human being and they rely solely on you for a good amount of time (or a good time?YEAH). Plus there are always the sharp objects, SHARP OBJECTS! like corners, knives, and keys. Oh and choking. Huh? And there are always those household items that closely resemble child-friendly drinks.
Pine Sol
Apple Juice?
Most of all I think the thing that scares me most about motherhood is the question of, Will I be a Good Mother? Another fear of the unknown, I see a pattern here. I guess there is no way of really knowing if you are doing/did a good job until you reach those milestones. You know the ones: Did he resist in pinching the little girl in preschool back? Did he come talk to you about having his first crush? Did he call you for a ride home the first time he got drunk? What?! In all seriousness, I think that motherhood is going to be challenging. But I am always up for it and I know I have a wonderful support group around me. I cannot wait for that first, "Mommy, I love you." - that will make it all worth it.

Hopefully I answered your questions, Frightened. I try to take things day by day, because really what else can we do? I always take the Scarlett O'Hara approach if things get too tough. I'll just think about it tomorrow.

Old-Megan, your answer is coming soon! My fingers need a break!


Laura said...

Wow, Tiff. Your post explained it all. I think the fear of the unknown is probably the most frightening thought. I worry about the years down the road and how my child would be treated in school and stuff that I don't have control over.

Although, I am still totally paranoid, you have eased my mind that my worries are more common than I thought. That is, if I were frightened in Garrettsville!

Colleen said...

Another great reader question.