Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Bubble baby

There are 3 babies in Mason's swimming class. 2 of them are over one-year, 2 of them are the same size as Mason. *snicker* 2 of the 3 started crying when they were lowered into the water. The other one splashed, played and smiled. High five little man, high five.
Excuse the shart-ness of the photos. I was nice to Paul by only making him handle the video camera and the little digital camera, I wasn't sure if he could handle the BIG DOG camera.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

A really shitty story. Literally.

Approximately 3 hours ago I heard Mason making noise in his crib. I thought maybe since he went to bed at 9:15 last night that he would let us sleep in a little. Wrong. I thought maybe I could sneak in without him seeing me and cover him back up and get him to go back to sleep. Fail. I was greeted with the usual "Hey! Good Morning! My favorite! I pooped! I stink! I have been nomming on my blanket! See! It's all wet! Where's my Ugly Doll?! Let's PLAAAAAY!!" smile. Busted. I scooped him up, put him on the changing table and went to work. What happened next is all a blur because a.)it was 7am, b.)I didn't my contacts in and c.)I think what you are about to read literally fell to shit in about .3 seconds.

I opened the diaper and of course there was poop. There is every morning. Although yesterday he had prunes DOH! and he moves a lot now before I get to him DOUBLE DOH! and there was shit. smeared. all. over. his. ass. Thankfully none had escaped out. Yet. The he spotted his Ugly Doll. The contortions started. There is one thing he is more happy to see in the morning than mommy or daddy and that's his Ugly Doll Big Toe. I couldn't control his legs. Poop was smearing. Poop was now all over my fingers, my arms, Big Toe! I called out to Paul, trying to not sound like Mason was dying or something. No answer. I called out again, a little more panic in my voice. I had Mason by his ankles as he squirmed all around, head almost completely twisted off of his neck, arms above his head "Ooooohhhh Ahhhhh, Baaaaaaa". He didn't seem to notice that everything was being covered in shit, he was having fuuuuun, it is moooorrrrrnnnning!!!

I heard Paul say, "Where are you?!". I called out that I was "IN BAYYBEEES ROOOMM HURRRRRRRY!!". Ultimately, there was a snap decision to throw him in the tub, a mere 9 hours after his last bath. I washed the smears away, washed my hands and arms, threw new jammies on the boy and we all got in bed and snuggled like nothing ever happened. All before 7:30am.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Please prepare for take-off.

Mason: Mommy, I'm about to blow your mind.
Mason: And for my next trick, I will use my freakishly strong arms to pull myself up on this here jumperoo. And then try to eat it.
Milestones: Kickin' Ass and Takin' Poops. This morning we laid in bed for a good 15 minutes listening to Mason make noises and when Paul went in his room to investigate why he hadn't gone back to sleep it was because he had ROLLED OVER in his crib and managed to pull his blanket over his head. And then panic. Legs were flailing. This is officially the 4th time he has rolled from belly to back unassisted.

Excuse me while I got FREAK OUT babyproof.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Must Haves Part II (errr..part one of a two-part post?)

Now that we have survived surpassed the six-month mark, I think it is time to sing my praises for my favorite baby items. All photo representations are live in living color (or, are actually the exact color, taste, smell, etc. that I own). First off, let's start with one of Mason's faves that I think is crap, because you know I love poop.

Infantino Stick and Spin Monkey
I would really like to tell this monkey to sit and spin....ahem. It's cute, but it does not stick. This totally defeats the purpose. I bought this toy because I was sick of picking up toys off of the dining room floor. Not only does it not stick, when it hits the ground it falls apart and putting it back together is not quite as easy as snapping Ken's head back on his body. Mason loves to chew on him though, even when he falls to pieces. Oh well.Maclaren Quest Mod stroller and Britax Roundabout Convertable Car Seat
My love. Ahhhh the Maclaren, or as I adoringly refer to it: Macky-PooPoodoodlebugNOM. If I could do it all over again, I would have skipped the Graco Snugride carrier and Metrolite stroller and went straight to the Britax car seat (since it's good from birth through booster seat) and the Maclaren Quest. The stroller weighs 12 pounds. TWELVE POUNDS and folds up super small. The car seat is the highest rated, best investment I have ever made. The only issue with my plan would be that you a.)lose the infant carrier, but honestly, you don't go too many places in the beginning and when you do, people want to hold the bayyybeeee so what's the use? and b.) the Maclaren is good starting at 3 months, BUT when you have delicious things like SLINGS! and FRONT-TO-BACK CARRIERS! who needs a damn stroller? You haven't had time to shower in days anyways, you ARE NOT going to the mall. I will say though, I do love the Graco schtuff and still use the Metrolite for beefy-er adventures such as walks around the neighborhood - so he still gets his use.

You must buy these. No, TAKE STOCK in these. My newest favorite use for them: linking a bunch together and attaching toys to the stroller with them so Mason cannot throw toys overboard to be ran over by the stroller OR attaching toys to the OHSHIT handle in the car so he doesn't throw toys overboard and into the deep dark pit that is my car's backseat.
*all photos from Babies R' Us dot com
Stay tuned for part two, where I will discuss my love affair (and possible marriage-ending obsession) with a high-chair, formula dispenser and spring-loaded-baby-holderthingamajiggy among other things.

Monday, March 23, 2009


With the month of March (which is almost over now, isn't it...seriously, where have I been?) comes many exciting things - the most important being the start of Spring. Living here in March doesn't always promise a great start to spring but I have been pretty satisfied thus far. DO YOU HEAR THAT MOTHER NATURE? After a winter of below negative temps, I welcome a couple days of sunshine and 40 degree weather. As long as that bitch of a sun is shining, who cares right? ROLL THOSE WINDOWS DOWN AND SLIDE BACK THOSE SUNROOFS YIPPPPEEE!

Winter was rough on this household. Sort of. There were no colds or sicknesses ::does sign of the cross (not Catholic), knocks on wood and spits over left shoulder:: but lots of times where we were locked in the house because I refused to venture outside. Putting on a coat makes me sweat before I even leave the house. There are only so many things you can do with an infant to keep him happy. Most of those include the Jumperoo, Elmo, airplanes on my legs, singing, TV (gasp!), trying to make him roll (ROLL DAMNIT) and getting excited when he starts doing the downward facing dog...then promptly losing your shit because that means he is starting to move and there are sharp.objects.everywhere. Or you could do this:Then comes the first week of above-40 temps and you throw a sweater on the kid and take daily walks and get high off of the FRESH GODDAMN AIR.FINALLY. And swim lessons. Swim lessons! Good God I cannot wait to start those. Should be a blog-worthy time. There is also something else in March that this household, well most of it, gets totally excited for - maybe a little too much. But it does make for cute photos:

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Zone of TERROR

Mason has what we like to call a "zone of terror". It's pretty much his wingspan (the zone) and the terror comes in when he starts swinging his arms around trying to grasp anything he can. So that he can put it in his mouth.

And destroy it.

So far, cell phones, computer mice, candles, lamps, toys, books, paper, blankets, cups and pens have succumb to his zone of terror.

There has to be some kind of explanation for the zone of terror. Here's mine: His teeeeef. They hurrrrrrt. WAHHHHHH I am going to make your life miserable WAHHHHH and eh eh EHEH EHEHEHEHE all.the.time. can't you hear me fake coughing? Don't you know how missssserabllllle the baaaayyyyybeeee isssss?

So now you can begin to understand why I haven't blogged in almost a week. I am exhausted. He sleeps fine at night, still going 11 straight hours. It's just the daytime that has become my own personal hell.

I am going to go shower now. While the monster child is sleeping.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Making food, making food.

Since the peas went so well, I decided to go ahead and make zucchini, sweet potatoes, pears, and green beans. The preparations for the pears, green beans and zucchini were pretty similar to the peas: cut if needed, steam in steamer basket, then puree (the pears need cored and scooped from skin as well). I used frozen green beans and fresh pears and zucchini.

For the sweet potatoes, you have to bake them at 425 degrees for 45 minutes, then remove the skin before pureeing. Once the foods were frozen, I popped them out of the containers (so I could re-use them) and put into labeled freezer bags. These frozen foods will last for 3 months.

Cost breakdown:

Green beans (10 frozen ounces) yielded 4 Gerber containers (12 Tablespoons) = $.70

Normal Gerber cost: approx. $2.00

Savings: $1.30

Fresh zucchini (one large) yielded 5 Gerber containers (15 T) = $1.99

Normal Gerber cost: approx. $2.50

Savings: $.51
Fresh sweet potatoes (2 medium) yielded 12 Gerber containers (36 T) = $2.18

Normal Gerber cost: approx. $6.00

Savings: $3.82
Fresh pears (2) yielded 6 Gerber containers (18 T) = $2.05

Normal Gerber cost: approx. $3.00

Savings: $.95
Grand Totals (including peas):

My way cost $7.62

Gerber cost approx. $16.50

Total savings: $8.88

All-in-all, I pretty much cut my food costs in half. Now, of course there are going to be some foods that I simply cannot make myself, BUT I am also making some foods that Gerber does not offer. It took me very little time to make the food and the color differences between the packaged stuff and the freshly made is remarkable.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Homemade food trial numero uno: PEAS

I guess I decided on peas first because they seemed the easiest and they are Mason's fave, so why not? Here is the run-down:

I used freshly-frozen peas (10 ounces), a basket steamer, medium sized pot with lid, one inch of water, and food processor, spatula and left-over Gerber 1st Foods plastic containers (I am still waiting on my other containers to come in the mail).

I started by boiling an inch of water in the bottom of the pot and set the peas in the steamer basket on top, covered, and boiled for 5 minutes. When the 5 minutes was up, I reserved the cooking water, then I then rinsed the peas under cold water to stop the cooking. Next, I transferred the peas to the food processor and blended until smooth, adding the cooking water until I liked to consistency for Mason.

I used a tablespoon to scoop the peas into the Gerber containers and so I could keep track of how much I was transferring to the containers. I knew ahead of time that each Gerber container comes with about 3 tablespoons of food when you buy them. I filled 6 Gerber containers with 3 tablespoons each, totaling 18 tablespoons of food.

Total time spent from start to clean kitchen was 15 minutes.

Here is the best part:

Gerber 1st Foods 2 packs= approx. $1.00 so 6 total (3 2-packs) would be $3.00

Doing it my way, 6 containers (made from 10 ounces of peas) = $.70

That's a savings of $2.30! And no preservatives and/or added acid (seriously WTF?). The frozen puree lasts 3 months in the freezer or 3 days in the fridge. I don't know about you, but my time is money and 15 minutes is nothing compared to the benefits of making my own food. Plus, it is so damn pretty!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Been There, Done That. FAIL.

After I had the crazy idea that I wanted to start cloth diapering, I ordered the 21 day trial "Changing Diapers, Changing Minds" from Jillian's Drawers. It is really a great program if you are even considering CDing since you are only out $10 in the end. They send you a wide array of cloth diapers and accessories so that you can figure out what works best for you.
I knew which brand I was interested in but I thought that it was important that I at least try the others so that I would not be disappointed. Of course, this is the brand that works best for us. Mason is what the CDing world calls a "heavy wetter" and the brand I chose was pretty much the only one that did not leak.

In the end, I chose not to continue. It is extra work, but that's not what did it in for me. I just think that Mason is too old and he seemed very uncomfortable in the cloth diapers. Plus (and this is major) I don't really think Paul was on board. He just never showed much interest and let's be honest, it is a complete waste if not everyone is on board especially when they care for the child a lot. I did really like cloth diapering. I think it is a wonderful thing and VERY good for the earth. However, we are already a one-car family, and I STILL haven't seen my "thank you check" from the government yet.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

6 Months - Dear Mason

Dear Mason,
Half of a year - that's how long we have known you now and I have never met anyone with such character. I was fully aware of the ever-changing 'babyness' we were embarking on when you made your tiny way into our lives but I was not prepared to go from this:
To this:
in such a short amount of time. You want to hold your bottle, and sit up by yourself and not be rocked or sang to. "Just put me in my damn crib already so I can go to sleep mom!" I never get sick of people telling me what a good baby you are, and how easy you are. I know I am lucky. Even when your dad and I try to escape for a night all we can do is talk about you and mimic your laugh and raspberries and little quirks. I cannot stop thinking about the past 6 months and how much you have changed and what a ride it has been. How you went from a non-sleeping baby to a 3 hour napper. I always worried what kind of mother I would be and how on earth I could ever raise a child to be the best person they could be, but I think I am doing a damn fine job so far.

I cannot wait until the winter goes away so I can take you outside to explore the things that you longingly look at through the window. You don't have time to explore when we leave the house since you are gasping through the cold air and I am rushing you inside the car or the store. You have started to watch the world go by through the car window when we are driving somewhere and I cannot help but wonder what you are thinking. Are you amazed at how fast the world around you is speeding by? Me too.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Raw meat

It's probably in my best interest to just not leave the house. Ever. Either that or start declining invitations by our friends to attend adult weekends where there will no doubt be alcohol involved. OR I could avoid water when I am wearing flip-flops. Add stairs to that list, avoid the stairs as well. The sad thing is, I really wasn't even drunk at this point. Somehow I had managed to avoid hurting myself after THE TEQUILA and waiting until THE TEQUILA had worn off and all that was really in my system was THE CHLORINE.This, of course is not the extent of my injuries but I figured one photo of an Ohio-weathered-dried-up-leg was all you could probably stomach since the rest of my injuries are IN PLACES.