Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Things I have Learned During Pregnancy Thus Far, Part I

15w 6d (still?)

  • People love to tell your their opinions.
  • You become very opinionated in return and say things like, "Shove it up your ass!".
  • Maternity pants are a gift from God, or the Gap. Whatever.
  • Pregnancy is NOT a 9 month break from PMS. It is 9 months of PMS x100.
  • You will return to the eating habits of your childhood. Mac n' Cheese, anyone?
  • The food you thought you liked...yeah, not so much.
  • People are grotesquely under-educated about their bodies, women in particular.
  • The majority of things you think you can't have are usually fine in moderation.
  • You have never been more thirsty in your life.
  • A growing fetus is one of the most amazing things ever.
  • 9 months is a LONG ass time.
  • People will think you are handicapped.
  • You will witness other pregnant women believing they are indeed handicapped.
  • You have to start thinking about things like "Will my child mistake the Pine Sol for orange pop?", while you are eating breakfast.
  • Men really are saps for babies. And it is the sexiest thing ever.
  • Above goes for husbands only. Dads should be referred to as "Cute" when they are being sappy.
  • As long as we are talking about men, some of them will be scared of you (particularly the single ones, ones with horny girlfriends, and ones that already have too many kids to handle).
  • Pregnancy is not contagious to men. Only women in most cases.


Itty Bitty said...

HAHAHAHA!! So true!

Colleen said...

2 posts in 1 day? It's like, the best day ever.

Tiff said...

I had to make up for yesterday, Colleen.

Colleen said...

Isn't today Wordy Wednesday?

Tiff said...

'Tis. Couldn't think of one...any you have in mind?

Colleen said...

Could you possibly explain the whole ordeal with breathing and pushing properly?

Childless in Aurora

momto1 said...

I've enjoyed reading your blog so reminds me of my 1st pregancy. We are getting ready to TTC #2...and I have major baby brain (and I am not even preggers yet!) Love the list...if it were mine I'd add "you never knew how badly your belly button could hurt until you're 8 months" and "Yay, labor!"....

Tiff said...

Haha thanks momto1...I haven't made it that far yet - stay tuned!