Monday, July 27, 2009

Moving on...soon!

I want to thank everyone that voted on my little poll - I am glad there are actually real people out there who are reading this and care to read more (even if you are all family and fallens) AND even if you all don't AHEM comment all the time.

I am going to go on. I promise. BUT I am happy to announce that on Mason's first birthday, I will be moving another link, a new look, a new name and some new content. I will explain more later, but I will say that you need to check out this blog, because it is one of my best friends and also the wife of the brilliant person who keeps coming up with some sweet ass blog names. And oh yeah, she is about to bust TWO babies out of her. Enjoy!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Abuse by Chicken Costume

No babies chickens were harmed while filming. Seriously though y'all, he's okay, no need to call Child Services.

Abuse by Chicken Costume from Tiffany Luc on Vimeo.

Mason found this costume in a drawer this morning. I had bought it while I was pregnant and it was too big last Halloween, so what else would I do? Friday Fun!

Coming soon: The decision on what to do with the bloggy blog.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Crazy kids.

Kendall: MASON, just look cute and smile, they love it when you do that.
Mason: Damnit, not the camera again. I know she loves it when I smile, so I usually make myself look like Forrest Gump just to piss her off. Watch how red her face gets.

Mason: Okay, now pretend to be really interested in something.
Kendall: Like this turtle? Will the turtle work?
Mason: YES. Just hurry up and do it, stop stalling woman.
Mason: Dude, I think she spiked the bath water. I feel funny.
Kendall: I already drank like half the bath water...
Mason: WAHOOOO party in da tubby! I think it's Pepsi!
Kendall: I totally have the munchies and this turtle looks delicious.
Mason: Whoa. I feel sleepy now.
Kendall: Where's the camera, SMILE!Kendall: Hold up. You're going to tell my mom about this?
Mason: Yeah, and she'll probably put it on her blog.
Mason: Quick, act normal...da da da ba ba
Kendall: DA BA BA BA NA NA I farted. Mason: Dude, that is a BOY towel.
Kendall: Shut up.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Cha cha cha.

Today Mason and I went to Target. We go there a lot. The kid sees red carts and the big bulls eye and starts clapping and pointing and "ooohhhing" and "ahhhhing". We made the usual rounds: women's clothing, baby section, jewelry, milk, seasonal. I threw what I needed into the cart and as I was swiping my card I got that feeling. Not the Wheeling feeling, that feeling. The one where you are like, "NOW. Where is the bathroom? NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!" Problem is, I had already purchased my loot and I had an increasingly antsy 10 month-old in my cart.

I did not have time to put the bags in the car, I did not have time to drive home, I was not leaving my already-purchased items outside the bathroom (let alone my child), I will not eat green eggs and ham, I will not eat them Sam I am. So I did what any desperate mother who does not wear adult diapers would do: I grabbed my purse, child, gallon of milk, 2 kind-of heavy bags and I ran to the bathroom. I took the handicapped stall, hung up my purse (Coach, haaaallllo), one of the bags and put the rest of it on ::shudders:: the floor. Yes, including the kid. Trust, those rickety hooks are NOT strong enough to hold my little man.

I did...well I did what I needed to do all while keeping Mason in the standing position by securing his little hands on my knees and off of the toilet seat. When finished, I grabbed the boy, and the purse and I washed my hands. It was then that I turned around and realized that the stall door had shut AND locked itself behind me. MOTHER! I wanted to cry, I wanted to run, I wanted that new bathing suit that was in my bags! What else was I supposed to do? I sat Mason on the ground and army crawled my ass into the stall, unlocked the door, grabbed my shit and ran. I barely made it back to my cart without dropping my child. I must have looked SUPER classy.

At least it was early morning and the store was filled with other moms that needed to escape their homes. At least I am not showing any signs of infectious diseases, yet. Lastly, as least I didn't poop my pants.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

The end?

Mason's first birthday is approaching, and although he will always be my baby, I am coming to the realization that he is pretty much a toddler. So I must ask, dear readers, what should become of this blog? Please take a moment and share your feelings with me by voting in my poll or leaving a comment. I will ultimately make the final decision, but I would love your input!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

No pleads in this post.

We really haven't been doing much of anything.Which is why I haven't written a worth-while post in a while.I do have a lot to catch you up on, a poll to do, some "loose ends" to tie up, if you will.But I don't feel like it tonight.Because we swam all day. Neener-neener boo boo.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Some of you may have had some issues voting for Mason on Monday...evidently the website was VERY unprepared for the amount of traffic the contest was drawing and so now they are STARTING OVER to make it fair. Seriously.

So please - I am on my knees here peeps - vote ONE MORE TIME for Mason. I will give you cyber kisses. Promise.


You now have until August to vote, but I suggest you do it now so you don't forget. Make sure you tell all of your friends and family - I give the bestest, sloppiest, cyber kisses EVA.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I never ask anything of you...

...readers. So I need this one little favor from you. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE vote for Mason in this local photo contest so he can win $5000 for college. Because, we all know college will cost like, $100,000 by the time he is ready to go. Unless he is a child genius, then I will use the money to buy booze and cigarettes. KIDDING.
Here's the deal: Click the following link and vote MONDAY, JULY 6TH...this is the ONLY day you can vote, so don't forget! Don't pay attention to the horrible grammar mistakes that the entry person made, they wouldn't let her edit it...heh heh...::nervous twitch::
Pass the info along to your friends, family, bum on the street, WHOEVER. You are all looking REALLY skinny today, btw.

Click here --------> ME! ME! <-------------Did you?

And just because you are all so wonderful for doing this, here are some !NEW! photos of Mason for ya. KISSES!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Dear Mason - 10 Months

10 Months

Dear Mason,
I realize that the majority of this month's letter is probably going to focus on the last couple days of month 9 of your life. As you can see, mommy hasn't had much time to update her blog lately because somebody has become a holy terror. I know, readers, "JUST WAIT" you say. Well, I am waiting... this is NOT a CAN'T WAIT! situation. This is a PLEASEIambeggingyounottowalk any time soon situation.

Mason, do you know that in the last week you have visited 3 new states, rode a Metro, rode down an escalator, went on your first amusement park ride, stayed in not one but THREE hotels, visited your nations capital and made countless otherwise-grumpy people smile? Well, believe it. I will admit, taking a 10 month old baby on a road trip in theory sounds like the working of a crazy person, but you were WONDERFUL. You only had one meltdown, and who wouldn't after being through what I put you through last week?
You swam your little heart out. I am going to predict that you are the next Michael Phelps. I have never seen such a little man want to swim so badly. You scream (happy screams) every time we get in the water and you kick your legs until you fall asleep - which you did on the last night of our trip, in the pool. Hilarious. You are into EVERYTHING these days. In fact, I have to make a trip to the big baby store to buy more locks for the cabinets since you think it is funny to mess with mommy's wine paraphernalia - hint: NEVER mess with mommy's wine paraphernalia.

People on the DC Metro generally keep to themselves and are not willing to smile, make eye-contact or any kind of acknowledgement that other people, do in fact, exist around them. BUT, once they saw you, or heard you they SMILED. And asked how old you are. And commented on how happy and adorable you are. You have a gift, little man. NEVER lose it. Keep smiling and talking and making people smile - we need more people like you in this world.

*there will be more photos and stories from our little adventure, soon!