Q & A

I cannot believe how close it is getting to Christmas already! Mason and I have been so busy getting every one's gifts ready. I did want to answer some of the questions I received from the last post before everything gets too crazy:

What do you do to try to calm him down in the car? Music? Rattles? Would love to hear more about that in a future post.

What haven't I tried? I have my iPod loaded with Rockabye Baby lullabies, I have sat in the backseat with him (obviously not while driving), hung Jacques the Peacock where he can see him, sang to him, adjusted the straps on his car seat...EVERYTHING. The only thing that ever seems to calm him down is to blast static from the radio. It is annoying to listen to, but I would rather listen to that than his blood curdling screams. Oh, and the kid HATES pacifiers so that won't even help!

I have come to the conclusion that he hates his car seat for two reasons: he cannot move his arms out to the side AND he knows that the car makes him go to sleep and that upsets him. We are keeping our fingers and toes crossed for the day that he actually ENJOYS getting in the car and going somewhere. For now, we are hermits.

Is that a bundle me? Do you like it?

Yes, it is a JJ Cole Bundle me. I absolutely love it because I didn't have to buy a big old snowsuit for him, and I don't have to put on layer after layer before we go anywhere. I usually just dress him appropriately for the weather that day and put a hat and mittens on him and go! I love that it zips all the way down the sides and the flap can be removed if it is a warmer day.

Promises and Painkillers

31w 4d

Oh the demands of my readers. You are all so quiet until you want something. Sounds a lot like someone I know. Hmm. I have so much to tell you dear Internet, but some of it will have to wait until this evening. I promise there will be hair photos tonight. I also promise a first baby shower run-down complete with pictures (I hope, if you have some please send them to me!) in the next 2 days. As a teaser, I will say that it was wonderful. The weather was perfect and everyone was so generous. This baby will never be naked or without a certain CUTE doll or two.

On to another reader demand. A past co-worker, current friend and current fellow host to a baby, Nancy, has requested that I share my thoughts about drugs during labor. I love reader questions, so I will happily answer. I do want the epidural during labor. I am not trying to be a superhero here, but I applaud the strong women who DO give birth without any drugs (and usually with strict birth plans). I have of course done the research, know the possible issues - issues could happen either way though - and I am fully aware that a catheter and large needle will be inserted into my back.

How can someone who is so anti-elective C-section be so pro-medicated birth you ask? Good question. There are lots of reasons behind this, and though I might sound like a hypocrite, it all has to do with what is best for the baby and I. If I need a c-section, I'll take it of course. If I am too late for drugs, I will bite down on a big stick and go for it...but I would rather not. I want the "natural" birth experience but I want to enjoy it. Somehow, I don't think I would enjoy it so much without the intervention of some drugs. I guess there is no easy way to explain my feelings other than GIVE ME THE DRUGS! I hope that is clear and not just a big paragraph of random words and ramblings.

Do I or Don't I?

18w 1d

Here is another question I got from a reader:

There is a lot of talk on what you can, or cannot, do while with child. What is the list of ABSOLUTE do's and dont's of pregnancy?

I don't know if I can answer in an ABSOLUTE fashion, but here's what I will say: While I highly recommend listening to your doctor FIRST (they all have different opinions), I think there are some no-brainers out there of things NOT to do. Those things would include:

-not doing drugs - this includes the hard stuff as well as over the counter drugs that your doc says no to (Tylenol is usually the safest pain reliever).
-not smoking
-not drinking alcohol while pregnant (wine is the exception - but I waited until I was well into my second trimester to have a small amount, after all of the important BIG fetal development was over). This isn't a big deal for me, because I want a margarita. Tequila is not good for the baby though, kids.
-paying attention to your fish intake. Certain fish have a higher mercury content (shark, swordfish, mackerel) while others in moderation can be very good for baby. Fish like albacore white (canned) tuna and salmon have low mercury contents and are safe AND beneficial to baby.
-taking on the "I'm eating for two" mentality. No you are not. You only need an extra 300 calories a day.
-changing the litter box. Chances are if you have an indoor only cat, you are fine and have already been affected and are now immune to toxoplasmosis - your doctor can test you for this. If you have cats that go outdoors, it is best to have someone else change the litter for you. Also, wear gloves when gardening in case the neighborhood kitties decide to poo in your garden.
-eating raw meat. DUH.
-lifting over 20 pounds. Make your husband do this.
-increasing your core temp. It is okay if you like warm baths - some will even say hot tubs are fine. As long as you do not increase your core temp (you'll know if this happens because you will get sweaty) you are A-ok.

I always think it is funny when people have common misconceptions of things that you can or cannot do when you are pregnant. Those include:

-eating sushi. Yes, you can have the cooked stuff like California rolls. As long as it is not raw you are cool. I always just ask that the sushi chef cleans his knife and cutting board (which they should be doing anyways) before preparing my sushi.
-working out. Good God. It is GOOD for you. It is not good, however, to diet or begin a vigorous work-out routine while pregnant. Also, never push yourself. If you feel tired or out of breath then it is probably time to stop. My doctor said not taking my pulse over 140 was a good idea.
-Soda (I live in Ohio, we say POP) or coffee. Or should I say caffeine? Most doctors will say it is okay to have caffeine in moderation. I stay on the cautious side of this one and drink pops like Sprite and Root Beer, which are caffeine-free. Diet pop is sometimes considered worse because of the aspartame.
-Cheese and deli meat. Okay. Yes, certain cheeses and most deli meats have a chance of containing listeria (bacteria), but chances are if your cheese says it is pasteurized, it is FINE. Also, the chance of contracting listeria from un-heated deli meat is somewhere around .000008%. I don't heat mine. I also eat feta and a little bit of blue cheese.
-getting highlights is FINE. The color never really touches your scalp (unless your hairdresser is awful, then I suggest getting a new one). The biggie here is can you take the smell?

Okay. I just touched on some of the big ones, but what is important to remember is this: Always listen to your doctor. Not your mom, not your grandma, not your neighbor, not even me. Chances are things have changed drastically since they were pregnant (except for me). Also, moderation is key. Some people will throw facts at you saying that smoking is fine during pregnancy. I say, to each their own. Just do your own research, talk to your doctor and make your own assumptions.

Personally, I am always a "better safe than sorry" type of person. But that's just me. I feel complete responsibility for this child and their development. Hopefully this helped a little! I could go on and on and on. But I won't!

Don't be Sceeered.

17w 4d

It's time again for a reader question. I really do love getting these and hope that more of you will crawl out of the woodwork and ask away. Don't make me put a tracker on here (you know, the trackers that broadcast what city you visit the page from)! That's right, I am resorting to threats now.

Dear Tiff and Little Luc,

With 17 weeks under your belt and 23 weeks until you meet the little one, I have to ask this. What scares you the most about the whole pregnancy/motherhood experience? I ask this because I, for one, am frightened by the whole idea of pregnancy/childbirth/being a mother.

Thank you!

Love,
Frightened in Garrettsville

Dear Frightened in Garrettsville,

What isn't scary about pregnancy and impending motherhood?! This was the perfect question to ask me this week, because I think I am fast approaching the point of FREAKING OUT. Paul and I officially began nesting this weekend (more about this tomorrow) and I distinctly remember one day talking with Paul about how in 2016 we will have an almost 8 year old. Now don't ask me how or why we were talking about this, or why that year in particular because I cannot remember. BIG surprise, huh?

First I will tackle the pregnancy part of your question. I think the scariest part of pregnancy is not knowing (at least for the first 20 weeks) if there is anything wrong with the baby. I know this is something that scares Paul the most, and me too of course. You have to be somewhat careful (without completely disrupting your life) in everything you do because there is always that, "Is what I am doing going to affect the baby?" question looming in the back of your mind. Apart from that, which you honestly cannot let put a damper on your pregnancy (positive thinking is key for me) I think labor is going to be, by far the scariest part. Let's pretend the baby is in the proper position here and not breech. It's not so much the pain (they make drugs for that) but the fear of the unknown. When will my water break? Will I make it to the hospital in time? Will I be able to have the epidural? How long will I labor for? Will I need an emergency c-section?

Notice that I didn't include the alien-esque movement in my tummy, which I know is a concern for some, *cough, cough*. That might be one of my favorite parts so far, if only because I know he is okay and likes what I am doing at the moment (this is what I tell myself).

As for motherhood, that is just plain scary! You are responsible for a living, breathing human being and they rely solely on you for a good amount of time (or a good time?YEAH). Plus there are always the sharp objects, SHARP OBJECTS! like corners, knives, and keys. Oh and choking. Huh? And there are always those household items that closely resemble child-friendly drinks.

Apple Juice?

Most of all I think the thing that scares me most about motherhood is the question of, Will I be a Good Mother? Another fear of the unknown, I see a pattern here. I guess there is no way of really knowing if you are doing/did a good job until you reach those milestones. You know the ones: Did he resist in pinching the little girl in preschool back? Did he come talk to you about having his first crush? Did he call you for a ride home the first time he got drunk? What?! In all seriousness, I think that motherhood is going to be challenging. But I am always up for it and I know I have a wonderful support group around me. I cannot wait for that first, "Mommy, I love you." - that will make it all worth it.

Hopefully I answered your questions, Frightened. I try to take things day by day, because really what else can we do? I always take the Scarlett O'Hara approach if things get too tough. I'll just think about it tomorrow.

Old-Megan, your answer is coming soon! My fingers need a break!

Annnnnd exhale.

16w 4d
So here it is, the long-awaited very first reader requested post. The lovely Colleen requested that I do a post explaining the whole breathing during labor thing. More specifically:

Could you possibly explain the whole ordeal with breathing and pushing properly? Thanks, Childless in Aurora

Dear Childless,

According to the American Pregnancy Association (who knew?!), the goal of using specific breathing patterns during labor is to calm and relax you. Little to my knowledge, there are various types of breathing that is used during labor. The first, patterned breathing, is to help the patient through pain and should be administered during contractions. Since breathing is an automatic response to pain (gasp!), it is used during the contraction to calm, bring purpose to the pain, and get more oxygen to mother in baby resulting in more strength. The APA recommends trying patterned breathing techniques to get you through every day stresses. I often use patterned breathing during a large poo. I do not suggest using this technique during an especially stressful board meeting with you boss, as he may become scared and call 911.

Breathing is also used to avoid pushing at the wrong time. Imagine having to take said large poo, but it being the wrong time, such as rush hour in your car. You may feel the urge to hold your breath, but this is bad as you will focus more on the impending poo. You should breathe in and out constantly to avoid extra pushing and a no-doubt unpleasant commute.

Expulsion breathing is used during the second stage of labor (baby or poo). If it is during a child birth-type of labor, this would be when the cervix is fully dilated. The breathing technique would go a lil something like this:
1. Let out a big sigh and let your body go limp as soon as the contraction begins.
2. Focus on a positive image such as the baby/poo moving out.
3. Breathe slowly, gathering strength until you feel the urge to push. At this point, it is okay to bear down and push that sucker out...I mean baby.
4. When you are not contracting, breath steadily to gather strength for the next contraction.

Hopefully this helps, Childless. If you have any more questions, let me know.

I would love to do a reader question every week, so if you have an idea for one, please leave it in a comment! All I ask for is that it is something pertaining to me or pregnancy, and that you buy me ice cream from Handel's within one calendar year.