Thursday, January 31, 2008

Dear Baby - 9 Weeks


Dear FETUS! (yay!)
Welcome to fetus-hood-dom-age. There are so many things going on with you right now, you cannot even imagine (really! I don't know if you can...)! First of all, and most importantly to me, you look like an actual baby and not some sea creature and you are about the size of a large salad olive. You can't open your eyes yet, but the iris's are fully functioning as well as the workings of your inner ear (please God let this child have better balance than I do). You have also started urinating since kidney function is happening. Hopefully you are better at it than I, and don't dribble all down your legs. Your sex organs are also there, but obviously we can't see them yet - BUT I like to think it is pretty creepy that I may or may not be growing a penis inside of me (your aunty Anne pointed this out to me very early on).

What we are doing this week: Oh little one! What a very exciting week you are about to have! Tonight, your grandma, dad and I are going to see what your dad lovingly refers to as "Circus Oley!". He is also under the impression that they serve you chips and salsa upon arrival. Really, we are going to Cirque du Soleil. I wish you could see and hear because it is amazing. Then tomorrow, our new couches are coming. This is big for us since we are eventually going to need a comfy and supportive place to sleep where we won't disturb your dad or brother Binx. Chances are, this will be our new home. We aren't done yet! Then, our second adventure in what we will call the Road to Not Being a Sissy is taking place. Last week, we did snow, this week - WATER! Yes, we are going to an indoor water park. I am hoping all these adventures will make you less of a sissy than your mom is. On Sunday there is this thing called the Superbowl, where I will most likely feed you, A LOT. If you are a girl, just sleep through the game, nothing to see there.

Wow, what a crazy week it is going to be. Guess what? Only 31 more weeks and we get to meet! Almost 25% of the way there.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Fun Bags


**warning - if you do not wish to hear about my boobs, please skip down to the part that says "Safe"**

Okay Holy Huge Boobs Batman. All of my life I have loathed the lucky ones that got nice boobs. I was a dancer for the majority of my childhood and I kept dancing right through puberty and of course, my boobs just never showed up. I have noticed over the last couple days that my fun bags are now in full effect y'all. Last night when we went to bed I was complaining to Paul that when I lay on my side I have to pick up my boob and lay it on my arm or it gets lost in my armpit. Ahh the joys of pregnancy. I know you are all imagining me with some Pam Anderson triple D's right now, which totally isn't the case. See, when you start out with a mid-B and all of the sudden are creeping around in the C's, you think they are big. And yes, I know they will only get bigger so save your breath now.

**SAFE** (I think)
I am also now officially uncomfortable in jeans. I notice now when I wear my regular jeans with my tummy sleeve (let's you leave your button undone, and zipper if you're feeling frisky) I get bloated a lot easier and when I lean forward I can hear my zipper going down. FUN! On the other hand, when I wear maternity pants, or sweat pants, since there is no pressure, the bloat stays down. Or maybe I don't notice it?

Meat is also now officially grossing me out. I thought it was just raw meat, but it is also when it's cooked as well. I am forcing myself to choke down some chili that is full of turkey and sausage today. Chicken I can no longer do and I haven't tried steak yet. Of course fish (especially salmon) is not my friend right now either. I need to find alternative resources of the the good-for-you that meat provide. Any suggestions? Leave em' in the comments please!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Thought this was pretty funny


Someone posted this on the Nest. Too funny.

Dear Non-Pregnant Person,
I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.
1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an asshole.
2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby".
3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in #2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.
4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.
5) Likewise, no women wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".
6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.
7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.
8) Like everything else is life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.
9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.
10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.
I hope this helps- it sure makes me feel better.

Monday, January 28, 2008



My bad. The embryo will become a fetus THIS WEEK. Horray! So, 3 more days instead of one week and 3 days. From the looks of it, the little one is started to look more like a baby and less like a blob. This makes Tiff happy!

We went on our little skiing/tubing adventure this weekend and I of course didn't ski, but I did tube and boy was it fun! Our friends kept telling me that this baby is going to come out wanting to go sky diving and bungee jumping. If it's anything like it's mom it won't! There were tons of fun things that happened to us this weekend, but I will save those stories for another day.

We are officially getting rid of the Vue today so I will get to drive the Jetta more! This isn't the only exciting thing going on this week and next! On Thursday, my mom, husband and I are going to see Cirque du Soliel in Cleveland, then Friday our new furniture is coming! I have been waiting since October for this stuff and I think it will make the perfect bed once I get to the point of house-dom and no longer find our bed comfy. Then this weekend we are taking a trip to Sandusky to an indoor waterpark with my family. THEN, 2 weekends from now, Paul is taking me to see Wicked as part of my birthday present. What a great guy! I can't wait for all this fun! As for the baby, my next appointment is Thursday the 7th and then I have the NT scan on the 18th (aka the next time I will see the baby).

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Dear Baby - 8 Weeks

So here we are at 8 weeks - only two more weeks until you are officially a fetus (I will not let you forget this)! You are officially an inch long. A whole inch! That's like, an INCH! I would like to think that the reason my hair is getting thicker and shinier is because of you, but we all know it is probably from the prenatal vitamins (or Aveda Color Conserve). I'll let you keep the blame. My tummy is starting to get a lil rounder but again, probably from too much Chipotle and water retention - again, I'll let you keep that blame. This weekend you are going on your first 'in womb' trip out-of-state to New York where I will sit and watch all of our friends go skiing. I am way too clumsy to even attempt to ski at the risk of falling and potentially hurting you!

You also now have fingers, toes, elbows and knees. I can't wait to kiss them! I can, however wait for the hair-pulling you will inevitably do with those little fingers! Your head is also disproportionately larger than the rest of your body and takes up half of that full inch. You already have a big head! Just like your parents! Kidding. Your placenta is finally, finally starting to take over the whole hormone thing so I should get a break in that department.

Next, I wanted to tell you about something us 'outsiders' call Old Wives Tales. I think these are pretty funny, but let's discuss so far.
1. Craving sweet vs. sour - I am craving sour things (Limeade, Lemonheads, etc) = Boy
2. Daddy weight gain. Somehow I don't see this happening either way, but no weight gain by dad= Boy (did you hear that Paul?)
3. Stealing my Beauty? Yes. I have had more acne than usual = Girl
4. Chinese gender charts. You were conceived in December, when I was 24 = Boy
5. Necklace pendant over hand. Mine swung back and forth = Boy

So, so far the consensus of the super-smart Old Wives Tails say 4:1 that it's a boy. We'll check back in a couple months! Only 32 more weeks until I get to meet you little one!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


First of all - welcome to Nestie people who caught my link posting the other day when I hijacked The Next Nine Month's post (sorry about that). Second, there was a question from Jodi about posting tickers. Here's what I did - When I went to Lilypie, I created the new "Expecting Baby Mini" ticker. Then I just posted the HTML in the box on here on the right panel (where the ticker is). I hope you get it to work!

Now down to business. I just want to gush about what a tank of a car I have. The roads were pretty messy with snow today and I must say that my little front wheel drive Jetta is a TANK! Screw you people and your big expensive SUV's and trucks! You are usually the people I see spun out on the side of the road! Granted, I do have traction control, and yes I do own an SUV (if that's what you want to call it) for the next 6 days, but I am so happy I am turning that thing back in. The Jetta is so much better in the snow (and on the wallet)! All hail German engineering (did that make you happy husband?)!

I have noticed that my angry-driver road habits (I do not refer to it as rage, I don't take roids) are getting pretty funny with my pregnancy hormones going into full swing. There is this stretch of road on the way home from work that I have figured out the secret to. You must stay in the right lane. There are no left turning lanes, therefore if you get stuck behind someone in the left lane, you could be sitting there for a while.
So when I see Mr. I-Drive-This-Sweet-Souped-Up-Mustang-To-Make-Up-For-Smaller-Things fly by me one second only to get stopped behind the minivan turning left, is it bad that I laugh and point as I drive by? I swear it's like I am in the Daytona 500, and it's fun!

My "tank race car".

Monday, January 21, 2008

So much to say

7w 4d

I feel like I have so much to say! First of all, yesterday was my birthday and it was very cold, but wonderful. I cooked dinner and had Paul's family over. I got lots of wonderful maternity clothes to (eventually) wear and I must say, maternity pants are THE BOMB. Why didn't I discover these before? Seriously if don't have a pair, you should get some. Boys too. They are perfect for those nights out at your favorite restaurant when you know as soon as you get to the car you are going to unbutton your pants. I could sleep in maternity pants. Even the jeans.

Next, I have been having horrible dreams. HORRIBLE. I won't even type what I dream about, but I will say that if I chose to do what I have been doing in my dreams, I would probably get life in prison. I thought pregnancy dreams were supposed to be about the baby. You know, "oops! I forgot the baby at Target!" or "Woops, honey. The baby hasn't been fed in 4 days!". I don't know why I am having these horrible dreams. I need to stop watching scary movies. It is rotting my brain.

Well, I thought I had TONS to say, but I guess not. There's that brain rot again. I am sure I will remember soon enough.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Aversions (not only food)

1. Salmon. Or anything that smells fishy for that matter. I usually love seafood but lately I feel like if I am within 100 feet of something fishy I will sniff it out and likely gag.

2. The words "prego" or "preggers". I am not a jar of spaghetti sauce. I don't care if you spelled it with 2 g's. I am also not 5, or a high school student therefore I am also not "preggers" ::giggle giggle:: I am pregnant. Writing out preggers does not save your fingers any less typing. Same amount of letters.

3. My jeans. I think I am allergic. Every time I put them on I think to myself, "Will I ever fit into these again? Perhaps in a couple weeks when the bloat goes down?"
Okay then.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Dear Baby - 7 Weeks


Dear Embryo-

I am still being forced to call you 'embryo' for another 3 weeks. Then I can finally sing the "Are you in there little fetus?" song from Friends without having to correct myself or make up new lyrics. I have also referred to you as "the tenant" on more than one occasion. I promise I will stop. It's just that you have been making me feel like I partied too hard every night for the last week (I DO NOT need to re-live college). I am feeling better which is good considering I feel like I haven't slept in YEARS. I thank you for that.

Websites are telling me you are the size of a blueberry this week. I love blueberries! I wonder when you will be the size of a schnozberry... They are also telling me your tail is going away and your neck is going to start straightening out soon. This is good because I always feel your pain when I look at the artist renderings of you each week. I wish you could answer my questions that I have for you like, "Did you like the pasta weesie I had for dinner last night?", "Do you like U2 as much as I do?". But then I remember that you are not getting nutrients from the placenta yet and you can't hear me yet.

So here's to you my little blueberry - only 33 more weeks and I will be able to meet you!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

When we told our parents

6w 5d

My parents

Mother in law (thank God she doesn't have the internet, she would kill me for this! SHHH)

The cat (what do you mean I am not the baby any more?)

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Hoo-ray Food

6w 3d

This weekend I had a couple milestones in the food department. My first aversion, and my first craving. A lot of sources will tell you that morning sickness begins for the majority of women in week 6. While I haven't fully yacked yet, I have come close. Last night we ordered my favorite "fast" pizza, Papa John's (I say "fast" since nothing compares to Dinolfo's in Dover or Luigi's in Akron). I guess my body was not liking the smokiness of the pepperoni's mixed with the sauce because the only thing I could eat was the free cheesy bread. "Better ingredients, better pizza" Mr. Papa John's? I beg to differ.

Today, lunch had barely rolled around when I got an INCREDIBLE craving for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. It is "the cheesiest" by the way. One thing you should know: I constantly make fun of the orange concoction that is Kraft Mac n' Cheese, because let's face it, if you are not 5 years old, or evidently a 25 year old pregnant lady, it's sick as hell. It took all of 2 minutes after flashing the puppy eyes at the husband for him to offer to come with me to the store to buy some. He questioned me when I grabbed 3 boxes and I flashed him the just as effective "you better shut the hell up or I am going to tackle you" eyes.

I almost finished the entire box by myself and now it is time for a nap.

Friday, January 11, 2008


6w 1d

Yesterday was my first OB appointment and *boy* was it fun. First, I wrote my name like 8 million times on my charts. Then they told me to go give a urine sample in the bathroom and leave it in the tiny little cabinet. Of course I peed before I went there (I should have known better) so what came out was minuscule compared to the gallons of piss I usually have. Once we were called back, my blood pressure, height, weight were all taken. We then met with the NP Anne. She was wonderful. Such a nice lady. After that she did an exam and sent me off for blood work.

Let's get something straight right now. I have what they call 'deep veins' which ultimately means that it takes HOURS for them to find one. Okay I exaggerated a little. Get used to it. When I walked into the lab room, shaking like a leaf, I so nicely called the poor lady's chair "THE CHAIR OF DEATH" echo echo. She laughed of course and after tying the rubber band thingy so tight around my arm I thought for sure it would fall off, she got it. In ONE TRY. I was so happy. Paul was pretty happy too, he wouldn't have to hear about it all day.

Next, I waited for my ultrasound. I got really lucky that day that there was an opening. My cycles had been very long so I wasn't absolutely positive how far along I was and they needed to do an ultrasound to date me. Once I was called in, I got undressed (again) and we got started. The technician moved around looking at all my "lady" parts for a while, finding a cyst on my left ovary (totally normal after ovulation) then finally resting on my uterus. Paul and I saw the baby right away. It looked pretty much like a blob but a baby nonetheless. She pointed out the yolk sack and then she made me hold my breath. We saw the heartbeat. I can't explain how wonderful that was. I couldn't hear anything she was saying except for the word "heartbeat". Then, just as the angels finished singing and the rainbows started fading, I heard Paul say, "It's looks like a dragon". See, my husband thinks everything looks like dragons. Clouds, his cereal, OUR CHILD. This wasn't odd for me. So there I was, glowing with delight and clutching the first photo of our little dragon baby.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008


Obviously as the title states, I (or should I say WE to be PC) are having a baby. It will be our first human child, as we already have a baby named Binx. Binx is our 3.5 year old tabby mutt cat that I will probably frequently talk about as I am a self-proclaimed crazy cat lady. We recently got married and the day after Christmas we were blessed with my urine showing some HCG.

So here we are, anxiously awaiting our first OB appointment where they will ask us tons of questions, make me faint by taking half of my blood, then to pour salt in the wound they will make me pee in a cup (I will totally get it all over my hand) THEN they will inevitably do an internal (never a fun word) ultrasound and tell us when our wonderful little bean will be expected. WHEW!

Here is my prediction: I believe that today I am rounding up week 5, day 5. So, at my doctor appointment, I am anticipating being 6 weeks flat with a due date of September 4th.

To leave you, please enjoy this picture of something I peed on: