Gather 'round chitlins. I've got a story to tell. You see, once upon a time I was not pregnant. I wasn't even married! But one Spring, I met this wonderful man. He had the most gorgeous blue eyes I had ever seen and I frequently thought to myself, "Self, aren't those the most gorgeous blue eyes you have ever seen? We must marry this man. We must get our grubby little hands on those blue eye genes!". He was also hot. And smart. And funny. And he asked me to go to Dave and Busters one night! SCORE!
If you don't know what Dave and Busters is, imagine this: A big place, with children who look like adults running around playing games. Pacman. Skee-ball. Pop-a-shot. You name it. They also have a restaurant with pretty good food. Oh and beer. Yeah they let you play all those games with a beer in your hand.
So one night this handsome, blue-eyed man and I (plus two friends) went to Dave and Busters. I had only been dating said blue-eyed man for a short while at that point and was already looking forward to at least the next date (most likely the next 100 years of dates). After some food, drinks and a couple games, we saw it. The Gene Machine.
Me: Why not.
Me: I mean, it can be funny. You know, to see what our potential, future, maybe children would look like.
Him: Yeah. Could be.
So he puts some money in it. First the machine scans his face. Then mine. Then we wait. What is it doing? What is taking so long? Did we break it?! Oh no. Then it happens. The Gene Machine spits out a little picture. We both kind of looked at each other reluctantly and one of us (I can't remember who) picked it up to have a look. Nothing could have prepared us for what we saw:
We were laughing so hard. In the midst of our breakdown, I believe it was Paul who said, "Tiff I don't think this is going to work. It's been nice knowing you." I agreed. You can't see it online, but in the original picture it appears that the "CHILD" has drool going down his chin. And what about those ears?! And the Donald Trump comb-over? You know what though? The "CHILD" appears to be a boy. So far it has one thing right. And that scares me!
Where are the blue eyes? Oh NO! Not the blue eyes! I guess we will just have to wait and see just how accurate the Gene Machine really is.