I don't know why, but I always feel the need to apologize before I write posts like this. So, here I go: I am sorry men. Men who know me, have known me since I was little, etc. I am sorry Paul's family; although somehow I know you will all get a kick out of this. I am sorry Paul. I am sorry I am airing out some probably-embarrassing-for-you-but-hilarious-to-me comments you have made this past weekend.
My husband was hilarious this weekend. I don't know what he was smoking, but he was funny as hell. Not that hell is in the least bit funny. We decided that it is because we took the day off Friday and he was able to actually relax and emerge from the fog that work sometimes puts him in. It could have also been because of the circumstances Friday and how it was agreed to be the second best day of our lives (behind our wedding day).
After the doctor appointment on Friday, I made Paul tag along to all men's favorite place on earth: Victoria's Secret. I love when I see men there. They all follow so closely to the woman they are with like lost puppy dogs. I am sure they fear the moment that they hear, "Okay, I am going to go try this on.". I mean, what the hell are they supposed to do for those 5 minutes? Try on lotion?
Of course I ended up buying a HUGE bra. HUGE for me at least. And I am sure it will only get bigger. Once we left the store, Paul was all, "How can we keep your boobs this big?" and I was all, "I can have back to back kids, get implants, or breastfeed your son until his is 15. Your choice."
I am convinced that my boobs are the size of Pam Anderson's...at one point in time.