Thursday, August 14, 2008

Dear Baby - 37 Weeks


Dear Baby,

One of the first things I said when I woke up this morning (after discussing my echoing flatulence in the middle of the night with your dad) was, "Okay BL. You are free to come any day now. You are starting to really hurt mom. Make it snappy!" or something like that. That's right BL, you are full term today and welcomed by medical professionals everywhere to make your appearance whenever you so choose (although some of them are evil and would love to see you stay inside and torture me for another 3-4 weeks). I have no idea how much you weigh, or how long you are because all of my sources, including the REAL ones like THE DOCTOR are conflicting. It's a guessing game now!

It's amazing that when I look at the normal websites that I check to reference for my posts, I notice that the tickers that were once at a measly 8 weeks and seemed like they would never near the end, are finally running out of things to tell me. I suspect that if I make it past 40 weeks the articles will just read, "Overdue, huh? That must really suck. Like, bad. Good luck pushing that ham out of your ass!" and then my computer starts making a ticking noise and proceeds to shut down and refuse to ever turn on again. A sign of the Apocalypse for sure.

When we venture out, we scare people, BL. I get all kinds of looks now and people seem to run away from us because HOT DAMN they don't want to be the one caught delivering a baby in Blockbuster. I guess that me stopping by the new release section to grab my stomach and wince because you are using my bladder for a trampoline doesn't help.

People also love to make predictions at this point in the game just by looking at you. I have gotten "You'll go tomorrow" to "Yeah, I don't think you are going to have him anytime soon". It's really easy to distinguish the nice people from the sadists right now. Har har. People also love to turn themselves into medical professionals at this point as well. I didn't know that there was a college somewhere handing out medical degrees!

"You are having back pain? You will for sure go into labor tonight." No, I have a BABY pushing on my SPINE.
"You feel like vacuuming? You're nesting! I bet you go into labor within the next couple days!" Actually, I was eating crackers for a snack and now there are crumbs all over the carpet. This is fun!

I am kidding, BL. Sort of. People are being really really nice to us and it is reassuring knowing that everyone cares so much. Of course I am guilty of making predictions for others as well. It's just fun! And if you are right, Publisher's Clearing House is sure to stop by your house and hand you a check for 10 billion dollars. I'll explain who those people are to you later.

Come out soon okay? We really want to meet you! 3 weeks left until your official due date.


Laura said...

3 weeks! Where did the past 37 weeks go?

Colleen said...

I can't believe it's almost over. On the otherhand, I cannot wait to meet BL!

Jessica said...

I was just thinking about you yesterday - you could really go anytime and it would be ok! How exciting... we're ready BL!

momto1 said...

I picked a random day between the start of my 37th week and my due date that I was convinced would be THE DAY Stink would come. September 19th. Wouldn't ya know, that day came and went, as did my due date. All the walking, spicy food, and sex didn't make a difference--nope, only the threat of induction brought on labor! Get started on those things, and I'll keep my fingers crossed your little one comes soon!

Melissa said...

I can't believe BL will be here so soon!

nancy said...

Well, you don't cease to entertain, that's for sure! I laughed so hard when I read your comment about nesting...when did vacuuming ever have such a deep rooted meaning????

Krista said...

Wow, time has flown by! How exciting that he is almost here!

angie said...

I'll keep my fingers crossed that he listens. I remember those last few weeks. :)