MY Labor Day.

39w 1d

TUESDAY. 3PM.

Do I need to write any more? Fine. I hear your moans and groans.

There was almost a massacre here at the Luc household when they sent me home from the doctor with no induction date and no time because there was "no room at the Inn" on Tuesday. I waited an hour for the receptionist to call back and was relieved that they DID have room for me that afternoon. The hospital thought they were asking for a morning induction. Minor heart attack.

All of this sounded too familiar since the SAME THING happened to my poor mother with me. I was a breech baby, born 16 days late because there was no room. And I thought waiting until 2 days before my due date was bad!

Oh and the receptionist, while on the phone with the hospital, started asking me why I was being induced because she couldn't read the doc's handwriting and I answered with, "I don't know!". Yeah, that probably didn't help either. It's because of my gestational diabetes, by the way.

So all is good. BL is being evicted next week! Holy shitballs. I just emailed Colleen with the drop-off spot where she will have to exchange her egg for the info to guest write all the happenings on this here bloggy. 90210 fans? Anyone? Stay tuned my dear readers, the end is near. Or is it just the beginning? Mwhahaha.

Enjoy your Labor Day. Mine officially begins Tuesday.

Dear Baby - 39 Weeks

39w

Dear Baby,

Well here we are. This may very well be the last time I write to you as an inside-baby. With an induction looming for next week, it is hard for me to grasp that I will FINALLY get to hold you and look at you. Right now I feel as though I will always be pregnant. I peek in your room and feel like it will always look like that - nice and neat, everything in it's place with the same sheets in the crib because you will never come out, never get a chance to mess it up! I know I am SO wrong, but this has been both the longest and shortest ten months of my life! I feel like it was yesterday that it was December 26th and I was trying to breathe as I watched a pink line appear on the pregnancy test. So unexpected, yet so welcomed.

Your dad and I are as ready as we are ever going to be, and the stars all seem to be aligning for your arrival. Everyone is anxiously awaiting for you to make your entrance whether you decide to come on your own in the next 5 days, or we have to go in and get you. I would much rather you come on your own, but as we have all learned already, you are a strong force.

I promise you that it is way more fun on the outside. So PLEASE, pretty pretty please, I am begging you. COME OUT! Our bag is packed, the car seat it ready to go, your dad is feeling much better, GPS systems have been programmed for the hospital and as hard as it is, I have been shaving my legs almost every day!

I would normally say that you have one week until your due date here, but the doctor and I, we have different plans for you little nugget. 5 more days.

It's a MAJOR AWARD!

38w 6d

I won AGAIN! I am seriously flattered that I was given an award for the second time in two weeks!

My first award came from the Monogram Chick. If you have never visited her blog, you are SERIOUSLY missing out. I mean it. I want everything on there and was lucky enough to actually receive a couple items as a gift from Colleen at my baby shower. Speaking of the devil (I keed), that's where my second award came from! Colleen has been my cyber and real life friend for well over a year now. We actually got married on the same day, pretty much chat every single day AND she will be guest-blogging on here when this baby finally decides to come out. Last but not least, she used a blog to help her successfully quit smoking. If you haven't read the journey from the beginning, I suggest you do!

Now onto my noms:

My first award goes out to Erin at Baby Fat. I have also known Erin for over a year now and she is one of the sweetest people ever. She also sometimes tries to give away boxes of condoms on her blog. Hilarious!

Next up is Angie at Seven Clown Circus. I got to know Angie's blog through SITS, which I have been neglecting my duties at recently (bad me). She has some of the cutest kids I have ever seen and is seriously one of the nicest cyber-people I have ever "met". You should definitely check her blog out if you have time!

Even though she will probably never see this, my next nod goes to Suz at Steece's Pieces. I forget how I came across her blog, but she is a QUAD MOM. Need I say more? I will. Her babies just turned one and they are so adorable. I love reading about their life and love going back in her blog and reading about her pregnancy! Fascinating!

Next is Andrea over at Are You Listening? I first met Andrea through the Knot I believe, and continued to "run into" her in cyber-land. She is recently pregnant, so if I haven't made you sick of reading about babies, head over there to witness another baby in the making!

Last but certainly not least is Baby Rabies, another one that will probably never see this as she is one of those people who I classify of as more of a "professional blogger". She has an ACTUAL URL and ads and shit. Anywho, she is hilarious and you are missing out if you don't read. Trust.

Okay, so for the bloggers who DO see this and want to share the cyber-love, here are the rules:

1. Add the logo of the award to your blog.
2. Add the link of the blogger who awarded you.
3. Nominate at least 5 other blogs.
4. Add those 5 links to your post.
5. Leave a message for your winners on their blogs.

Hope you all had a great hump day! I tried to walk BL out again, but so far to no avail. Less than a week to go!

It's up to you.

38w 5d

Today's post brought to you by Natural Way to Induce Labor No. 95: Red, Red Wine

Red wine, such a tease.

I finished BL's room yesterday FINALLY and I love how it looks now. I just felt like it was missing something and the vinyl wall art was just what it needed! I put them up all by myself and although kind of a pain in the ass, it wasn't too bad. I think that not being able to get close to the wall because of THE BELLAH made things pretty difficult. I was for sure bustin' a sweat by the time I was finished.

Paul and I are both suffering from some allergy issues, lovely, so staring at this screen with a bit of a sinus headache is getting to me. Enjoy your Tuesday, maybe a little UB40 will make the day go by faster. They knew what they were talking about when they said "Red, red wine, it's up to you."

Lots of news and shout outs!

38w 4d

This weekend went by so fast, which is fine with me, but now I actually feel like I have some things to do to keep me busy! I am finishing BL's room today with some wall decals that I took my sweet time ordering from MichelleChristina's Etsy Shop. I will post pictures when I am done!

In other HUGE news, the Monogram Chick gave me an award! I am so excited as it is my first blogger award. So thank you again, I feel soooo loved!! I will be returning the favor soon to some of my fellow bloggers as soon as I grab a moment to breathe (which is tough these days with a little butt pressing into my ribcage). *I am having some issues getting the award up, I will work on this!*

Another thing I wanted to share was my anniversary present from my wonderful husband (who loves me even more now that we made it through draft day without any labor). A while ago I mentioned how cute I thought these bracelets were from Drama Queen Bows and then I completely forgot about them. Low and behold, he had been saving the link the entire time! I absolutely love it and it makes me smile every time I look down at it. Now if I just had a baby to go with the name!

Last but CERTAINLY not least, a HUGE congrats goes out to faithful readers and real-life friends Dan and Nancy who I *think* had their son this weekend. I received a text Saturday morning that her water FINALLY broke (at 41 weeks!) and she was heading to the hospital. I haven't received the details yet, but I will be doing some super-sleuthing today. CONGRATS guys!! Love you!

Appointment Update #3

38w 1d

Today's post brought to you by Natural Way to Induce Labor No. 15: Sex

Sex, the easiest thing ever to accomplish at nine months pregnant. Who's idea was THIS?

I went into today's doctor appointment ready to do one of the following: throw up, cry, bribe my doctor or blow up the place. I came out a lot happier than that. Last night I didn't get much sleep at all and ended up crying at around 5:30am and moving to a sitting-up position on the couch where I caught the majority of my sleep. Hey, at least Paul is getting practice - a crying baby waking him up at 5:30am, that's not going to change much.

Back to the appointment. My bagel is stuck at 1 cm, but the ham is making progress now and thinning out! Go ham, go!! Also, I now officially have a light at the end of this oh-so-dark tunnel of love. September 2nd. 10 days. If this boy (who is estimated to now be at 6.5-7 pounds, GAH) does not come on his own before September 2nd, I will be happily skipping my ass to the hospital that night for an induction. Still hoping for an early arrival on his own, but I will take it. That means that I longer have to cringe when I look ahead on my baby calendar and see the word "OVERDUE" because I will never make it that far. Can I get an AMEN?

Dear Baby - 38 Weeks

38w

Today's post brought to you by Natural Way to Induce Labor No. 230: Walking

Walking, because just laying there won't dilate your cervix, silly!

Dear Baby,

Another week has gone by. Another week where you get stronger and more ninja-like. I sometimes expect for there to be a pool of blood in my underwear after one of your ninja routines. You are really finding all of the nerves now and you love doing this at night when I am ready to try and sleep. I am able to make out more of your body parts, especially when we take a bath. You love to push your little elbow out and hold it there for a good couple minutes. Just enough time for me to give you a little massage. You do the same with your butt. I am really going to miss that.

According to your dad, I am allowed to keep walking and doing whatever normal pregnant gals do, until the weekend. Once the weekend rolls around, he is putting me on bed rest. That's right, your father is playing doctor now. You see, little one, there is something on Sunday that your dad and his friends like to call their "Fantasy Draft". I will let him elaborate later, but basically it is CHRISTMAS but in August. If you were to make your appearance or be on your way to making your appearance any time close to this glorious event, we will be in BIG trouble. There have already been threats on both ends. Of course I have been saying since about February that you will OF COURSE be born on draft day, because that's just how the cookie crumbles.

We have 2 more days until our "Fantasy Draft bed rest" begins, and 2 more weeks until I come-a-knocking on your door, torch in hand.

What am I doing?

37w 6d

Today's post brought to you by Natural Way to Induce Labor No. 164: Spicy Foods

Spicy foods, evidently making pregnant women go into labor since the beginning of time. Oh, and giving them bad gas too.

15 days. 15 DAYS? I could start the next sentence going two ways. I could start complaining about possibly having another 15+ days of "will I or won't I sleep tonight" or "what was that? WHAT WAS THAT PAIN just now?!" OR I could get all giddy and excited and start with the "Like, ohmygod I am going to be a mother soon" rants. I think I will do neither. I think instead I will focus on what I have been doing with my days. I'm sure you are all dying to know because OBVIOUSLY it doesn't take me 16 hours to write these posts.

Most recently, I have been doing a lot of reading and catching up on my backlogged 90210 episodes. I read Dan Brown's Angels and Demons last week and I must agree with my husband that it was WAY better than DaVinci Code. Trust. I have also graduated to the baby books instead of the pregnancy books. I had a little "holy shit I know nothing about babies!" (entirely not true) moment last week with my mom and we sped off to the nearest Borders. Turns out I know a lot more than I think.

I have also been getting myself pretty. Pedicure? Check. Highlights? Check. Eyebrow wax? Check. Half-assed backyard tan? Check! Yep, lookin' as good as I can. All that would complete the look now is a non-protruding belly button and a baby in my arms.

Didya Know?

37w 5d

Colleen wants you to post 7 Didya Know Facts about yourself today. So if you have a blog, do it. If not, find some random stranger on the street and tell them 7 random things about yourself.

Didya Know...
1. That I still cannot wear anything brown and black together even though some fashion circles consider it okay? This includes brown eyeliner with a black outfit or vice-versa.
2. I talk about poop A LOT. I like to think that I have single-handily made my husband more comfortable with his bowel movements since I have known him.
3. I love to eat cottage cheese with ranch dressing on it. In fact, if I eat cottage cheese without ranch dressing, it makes me sad. I especially like to do this at salad bars since their cottage cheese and ranch always tastes better for some reason (ESPECIALLY Pizza Hut).
4. Every time I am in the shower, I have to run my pointer, middle and ring finger on my right hand down the glass door while it is foggy. I feel like if I don't do this, it will be a bad day. If I take a bath, it doesn't matter.
5. I am a creature of habit when it comes to restaurants. I have never gotten anything but the Pasta Weesie at Carabbas.
6. I once hung out with Nickelback at a local bar. They were complete d-bags and I have disliked their music ever since. My hate for them is legendary.
7. In high school, I worked at a meat market and used to make ham loafs, ham balls, meatloaf, meat balls and potato salad BY HAND. We're talking gloves-to-your-elbows to mix the potato salad with your hands while it sits in a huge Rubbermaid container. It was gross.

Full Moon Failure

37w 4d

The full moon on Saturday didn't produce a baby, but it did produce a mucous plug and a dry run to the hospital. I was supposed to have lunch with some friends, including the eventual guest-blogger on The Baby Luc, Colleen, but I didn't make it. I was emptying the bladder one last time for my trip when after I stood up I felt a gush of water. I looked at the mirror in the bathroom because let's face it, I can't see anything past my belly button, and I saw a watery substance dripping from me. It was tinged red, and I immediately thought what every pregnant woman would think at that point, "Damn, no Rocknes salad for me!".

I went outside to find Paul and told him what happened and we decided that of course I should call the doctor and see what they say. If my water can get out, that means that bacteria and whatnot can get in. So I called and even the doctor thought it was my water breaking and asked that I come to labor and delivery. After a quite annoying ride to the hospital complete with backed-up traffic, near fist-fights on the interstate and one ride through the ghetto, we made the 15 minute tops trip in 45.

I signed in, changed and they hooked me up to monitors. One monitor was for BL's heart (which stayed around 135-145 the entire time) and one was for contractions. I had about 4 contractions while I was there but they were "nothing to get excited about" according to the nurse. The doctors checked my cervix, swabbed around to see if it was indeed my water breaking and checked my fluid levels. "Not water breaking, but probably the mucous plug" they told me. Fluid levels looked really, really good and I was still at 1 cm (not surprising for only a day since my appointment). So after about 1.5 hours I was disconnected, wiped up all of slime that they spread all over my stomach and told to go home. Baby-less.

I kind of had a feeling that it wasn't time, but after seeing all of that "stuff and water" coming out, I took the better-safe-than-sorry route. I didn't want to be the girl who cried labor, but I was assured at the hospital that even pregnant doctors have made the same mistake. I continued having some contractions that night, a couple yesterday and two very painful ones in the middle of the night last night, but nothing time-able.

How's that for a story to start off your week? At least we now have a good route mapped out to the hospital!

Appointment Update #2

37w 1d

This morning's appointment went great. I am strep B negative (wahoo!) and dilated a full centimeter now! Go bagel, go! The doctor also informed me that she is on call at the hospital tomorrow, Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Hint, hint!

When she gave me the option of not having an internal I told her to go for it. Even though it doesn't mean much, it is encouraging to know that I am making some progress. Any day now would be great and she gave me the full go ahead to have this baby! Tomorrow is a full moon...hmmm.
Have a great weekend and Happy Birthday Chrissy!!

Dear Baby - 37 Weeks

37w

Dear Baby,

One of the first things I said when I woke up this morning (after discussing my echoing flatulence in the middle of the night with your dad) was, "Okay BL. You are free to come any day now. You are starting to really hurt mom. Make it snappy!" or something like that. That's right BL, you are full term today and welcomed by medical professionals everywhere to make your appearance whenever you so choose (although some of them are evil and would love to see you stay inside and torture me for another 3-4 weeks). I have no idea how much you weigh, or how long you are because all of my sources, including the REAL ones like THE DOCTOR are conflicting. It's a guessing game now!

It's amazing that when I look at the normal websites that I check to reference for my posts, I notice that the tickers that were once at a measly 8 weeks and seemed like they would never near the end, are finally running out of things to tell me. I suspect that if I make it past 40 weeks the articles will just read, "Overdue, huh? That must really suck. Like, bad. Good luck pushing that ham out of your ass!" and then my computer starts making a ticking noise and proceeds to shut down and refuse to ever turn on again. A sign of the Apocalypse for sure.

When we venture out, we scare people, BL. I get all kinds of looks now and people seem to run away from us because HOT DAMN they don't want to be the one caught delivering a baby in Blockbuster. I guess that me stopping by the new release section to grab my stomach and wince because you are using my bladder for a trampoline doesn't help.

People also love to make predictions at this point in the game just by looking at you. I have gotten "You'll go tomorrow" to "Yeah, I don't think you are going to have him anytime soon". It's really easy to distinguish the nice people from the sadists right now. Har har. People also love to turn themselves into medical professionals at this point as well. I didn't know that there was a college somewhere handing out medical degrees! Must.find.college.

"You are having back pain? You will for sure go into labor tonight." No, I have a BABY pushing on my SPINE.
"You feel like vacuuming? You're nesting! I bet you go into labor within the next couple days!" Actually, I was eating crackers for a snack and now there are crumbs all over the carpet. This is fun!

I am kidding, BL. Sort of. People are being really really nice to us and it is reassuring knowing that everyone cares so much. Of course I am guilty of making predictions for others as well. It's just fun! And if you are right, Publisher's Clearing House is sure to stop by your house and hand you a check for 10 billion dollars. I'll explain who those people are to you later.

Come out soon okay? We really want to meet you! 3 weeks left until your official due date.

Watch the belly.

36w 5d

This video is only a little over a minute long. The bump to the right is his little butt. Watch what happens when I give him a rub! As always, excuse the scary belly button and scar of my youth. Enjoy!!


Movement! from Tiffany Luc on Vimeo.

Ass licker.

36w 5d

Remember that oh-so-cute alarm clock I mentioned a few posts back? You know the one. He has fur, is kind of chunky, meows, WAS purring ever so lightly to wake me up in the morning?

Well, I changed my mind on loving the alarm clock features, for now he has switched to the "Wake up oh uncomfortable pregnant one - here I will lick my ass ever so loudly for you! Gooood Morning!"

I am working on a sweet surprise for you Internet. Stay tuned.

Anniversary

36w 4d

Today is our one year anniversary. What a year it has been! It seems like yesterday I was sitting in the choir loft at the church watching the guests file in (right about this time). I was so excited to marry Paul and I could not ask for a better partner in life. He is such a wonderful husband and I cannot wait to see what he does with fatherhood. I can only imagine!

I put together a slide show with Scrapblogger, but it won't load on here- so in the meantime, here are a couple of my favorite shots from a year ago!

Appointment Update #1

36w 1d

Now that I go every week to my doctor appointments, Fridays will be reserved for progress reports. BL is head down (YAY!) and I am still at 1/2 centimeter (fingertip) but that is just fine with me. He needs a little while longer to cook and I think I am most excited about the head down part. The thought of an external version (I feel for you, Nancy) or even a c-section scared the crap out of me.

So now to the next item on my agenda: making progress happen. How will I do this? By walking of course! Yesterday was the zoo (more on that later) and today I am heading to the mall.

I guess it is only fair that Paul gets a progress report here too. Just before I was leaving for my appointment, Paul decided to try and catch a drinking glass that was meeting it's untimely death in the sink. He sliced his finger right on the joint and there was blood and "I think it's deep!" going on so we decided to hop on over to the 24 hour care center at our local wellness center to have it checked out and stitched up after my appointment. No stitches needed, just some goo, bandages, a tetanus shot and a splint and we were done. Oh yeah, and many threats to not have the baby there. I guess they were content with their uneventful finger cuts.

Happy Friday!

Dear Baby - 36 Weeks

36w

Dear Baby,

We made it! Month nine is officially here and we only have 28 days left to go! I think I am more excited about this than anyone because although I am not working anymore, each day is becoming a challenge. Sleeping is hit or miss and I actually ended up on the couch for the first time two days ago. My hips hurt pretty bad and my back of course is struggling to support you. I may sound like I am complaining, and I am a little bit, but I know this is all worth it because I will get to meet you in less than a month!

Most of the baby websites are clocking you in at a hefty 6 pounds this week, but I am guessing that based on where the doctor measured you 2 weeks ago, you are more like 5.5. You are now most likely at your final length which can be anywhere from 17-20+ inches long (give or take). Since your dad and I are on the small side, I am guessing that when it comes to height, you will be too. Unless you caught some of the tall genes that seem to pop up here and there. You have been getting hiccups about 3 times a day for the past couple weeks and you remain super active most of the time.

Most mornings, you are curled up in a little ball nice and tight (probably from all of my flipping while I sleep) and then by nighttime, you stretch out making my belly appear a little wider. Either way, you are so big now and I think you and I are really starting to make people nervous. When we go out in public, there is always at least one person that asks me if I am due that day, or plan to give birth tomorrow. As much as I want to be snarky and tell them that yes, I totally planned it out so that I could give birth beside the voting booth or the check-out line, I refrain. I give my best smile and tell them that, "No, I still have a little under a month to go".

4 weeks to be exact!

Effacement: The Deli Counter Version

35w 6d

Happy Hump day, or as we call it around here, Wordy Wednesday. You won't need to pull up a chair for this one, or pop any popcorn - chances are you won't be hungry after reading this because I NEVER let my readers down. Okay once. Maybe twice.

Effacement. Imagine you are at your local grocery store. It can be whatever you want; Giant Eagle, Acme, Whole Foods, Winn-Dixie. Whatever. You walk up to the meat counter and when asked how the lovely (always lovely) meat counter person can help you, you explain that you need a pound of...ham. Let's use ham today. Unless your selection has already been sliced, and you are happy with that slice (but who ever is?) you become an instant pain in their ham-slicing ass. You want a thin cut. Or maybe you like it thick, but when we discuss effacement, you want it thin. Trust. So they are forced to dig out the big hunk-o-ham and IT IS THICK.

In normal medical people/pregnant people worlds, effacement is the thinning of the cervix or, in in last week's WW, your bagel. Yes ladies and gents, first I tell you that the bagel hole needs to be big and now I am telling you that your bagel needs to transform into meat.

Back to the meat. When asked, the customer usually tells the lovely meat counter person that they would like their meat sliced "thin" or "medium". Some even use their fingers to show this measurement, some use REAL measurements. Medical people (whom I sometimes call doctors) use percentages when it comes to effacement. "Your cervix (ham in this case) is 25% effaced or 75% effaced". In order to be ready to give birth, you want that ham to be 100% effaced, or paper-thin, transparent even. Again, this can only be checked by a certified meat measuring person, or DOCTOR.

So the next time you are at the meat counter, you may be tempted to tell the lovely meat counter person that you would like your ham 75% effaced. I think that would be a nice slice to perhaps top a bagel?

This concludes our active labor edition of Wordy Wednesday. BUT WAIT! You say. What about your water breaking, or contractions? Really, Internet? Do you really want me to find some food product to explain this? Haven't you been tortured enough? Just remember. Bagel hole needs to be big and the ham needs to be sliced extra thin. We'll see what next week will bring. I am sure it will be stomach-churning as usual.

She recovered them!

35w 5d

I was delighted to get an email from Melissa Reynolds yesterday letting me know that she found my maternity session as well as most of the other sessions she was missing. She is still looking for more pregnant girls to do some maternity sessions with her (details on her blog) and make sure you check out her website- she does wonderful work and I am so excited to have her come photograph Mason when he gets here. So without further ado, here are three of the proofs that she has up on her blog:

Kudos to my gorgeous husband for being such a good sport and posing for a couple shots with me. He had a big part in this as well, so it was only fitting!

My new job.

35w 4d

Happy Birthday Mom!! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Welcome baby Owen! My cyber-friend Shannon gave birth to Owen this morning, almost 4 days late! Guess the threat of an induction scared him out of there! Congrats Shannon and Sean, can't wait to see him!

Behold, my new alarm clock. I prefer the "purr" setting for wake-up calls:

That's right, I am officially in baby-retirement. My last day at work was Thursday and so far, I have enjoyed my time off and cannot wait to start crossing things off of my list of to-dos. In case you never noticed, I really didn't write about work or what my plans were for when the baby came pertaining to work. I did not want to get Dooced.

Paul and I always agreed on me being a semi-stay at home mom. I say semi because there are still things I am going to be doing to bring in some compensation, just not at the level that I was at my full-time job. We never wanted to have to take BL to day care or have someone else watch him during the day and we are very lucky to be able to have me stay home and raise him. This is going to be a whole new world for me since I have been working either part-time or full-time since high school (with little breaks here and there). I am fully prepared (I think) to be a stay-at-home mom and wife and I am sure it will add to some fun stories for this blog. It will also be creating some minor changes as well in the form of later posts, gasp! days without posts and the horror! even some ads? We shall see!

Okay, I am off to do laundry or clean something. How am I doing so far?

Torpedo Belleh Rages On

35w 1d

Stretch mark city. Still just staying in the hip area. Praise Jeebus.