Monday, June 23, 2008

Turn, turn we almost become dizzy.

29w 4d

It's amazing where support will come from. Some people you never imagine will support you, do. Some people you would think would be considerate and supportive, aren't. Then there are always the people you KNOW will offer support and always come through for you. The reliable ones. Thank you. This weekend was difficult for me to say the least. The tiniest things were setting my frustration off. I blamed myself a lot, even though I know this isn't my fault. I wanted to scream at people, but I refrained. I cried, of course. Last night I woke up thinking about an Oreo Blizzard from DQ. Of course the cravings come now. When I can't have them. Do you know how many Oreo Blizzards I have had since I have been pregnant? ONE. Oh the irony.

"Would you like dessert tonight? Strawberry cheesecake? Double fudge volcano explosion?"
Me: "No."
What I really wanted to say: "NO. Normally I don't get dessert. Only on rare occasions. But since you asked, NO. I can't have those. Even if I wanted to. My body hates me right now. Do you have any celery I could nibble on?!"

"Oh this cake is soooo good..."
Me: "Is it?"
What I really wanted to say: "F you. How dare you throw that in my face. I can't have cake. I hope you choke on it. I don't even like cake anyways. But you know what? You always want what you can't have, right?"

Angry? A little. Frustrated? Completely. Rational? Probably not, as exhibited above. I know these people mean no harm. I know the waitress was only doing her job. I know the cake person was only making small talk. I know I am not being fair, but you know what? I can't help it. I know there are people out there who deal with this their entire life. I have 10 weeks. Maybe I am just being a baby. This would not surprise me since there is one in my abdomen.

In other news, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL!! We love you! Plus, did anyone notice that we are under 75 days now? Also, this blog has reached over 10,000 hits! Thank you all for reading! Now start doing a better job of commenting! Email me if you need help figuring out how. Have a wonderful Monday!

"Dark clouds may hang on me sometimes but I work it out Then I, Look up at the sky My mouth is open wide, lick and taste What's the use in worrying, what's the use in hurrying Turn, turn we almost become dizzy" -DMB


Jessica said...

I hope things get better for you Tiff.

Happy Birthday Paul!

Laura said...

Happy Birthday, Paul!

Tiff, this just made me want candy, cake and ice cream...Thanks a lot.

Krista said...

Tiff, you will get through this! I know it not easy and I can't even begin to imagine your frustration! I truly hope you realize that this is not something you could've prevented. I have been thinking about you lately. Let me know if you need anything!


Colleen said...

Hang in there Tiff! You can do it.. (in freaky Rob Schneider voice) Ahhh man, I missed Paul's B-day? Happy Belated Birthday, Paul!