A Word from our Sponsor

I have been meaning to write this entry for a couple weeks now, but of course time slipped away from me. I never felt "right" after Mason was born. I have dealt with anxiety and depression before so I knew the drill, but this was a slow process. I attributed the first couple weeks of the crying and frustration to the baby blues. I even went as far as thinking that the one month mark was still baby blues. This was around the time that my sister-in-law gave me Brooke Shields' book Down Came the Rain. I read it during Mason's naps and cried. I could have wrote a lot of that book myself. I won't go too much into detail about what was going on in my head because it was scary. I would never hurt myself or Mason, but I did want to run away.

Things really came to a head during the fifth week of Mason's life. Paul was growing increasingly frustrated with me and my constant crying. I wasn't sleeping, Mason wasn't sleeping and I just plain wasn't enjoying myself. I knew my 6 week (which fell at the end of the 5th week) post-partum appointment was coming up and I was just trying to survive until then. I knew I needed help. As I said, I had dealt with this before and knew what was going on. I guess I just felt like I could handle it without medication this time. What I didn't take into consideration was that not only was I having to deal with my issues, but I also had to take care of a newborn and try to keep my marriage in tact as well. It just got too hard. I gave in.

I talked to my doctor and she didn't even hesitate to write me a prescription. I told her what I took in college and she gave me the same medication. I knew it would take effect immediately, but I can honestly say that at almost 2 weeks later, I am feeling so much better.

My friends and family obviously knew something was going on with me. I was told that I was not acting like myself and that made me sad. I am doing so much better now and actually starting to enjoy myself. Mason is really starting to interact with us and falling into a great pattern over the course of the day. I like to think it is because we are all so much happier.

I really thought it was important that I get this all out there because of my audience. Know that you are NOT crazy if you start feeling unlike yourself. Get help. Medication is not a bad thing, talking to someone is not a bad thing. You are only human and there is only so much you can handle. I can't remember who said this, or where I heard it, but it is SO TRUE:

Being a parent is the hardest job you will ever love.