Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A Word from our Sponsor

I have been meaning to write this entry for a couple weeks now, but of course time slipped away from me. I never felt "right" after Mason was born. I have dealt with anxiety and depression before so I knew the drill, but this was a slow process. I attributed the first couple weeks of the crying and frustration to the baby blues. I even went as far as thinking that the one month mark was still baby blues. This was around the time that my sister-in-law gave me Brooke Shields' book Down Came the Rain. I read it during Mason's naps and cried. I could have wrote a lot of that book myself. I won't go too much into detail about what was going on in my head because it was scary. I would never hurt myself or Mason, but I did want to run away.

Things really came to a head during the fifth week of Mason's life. Paul was growing increasingly frustrated with me and my constant crying. I wasn't sleeping, Mason wasn't sleeping and I just plain wasn't enjoying myself. I knew my 6 week (which fell at the end of the 5th week) post-partum appointment was coming up and I was just trying to survive until then. I knew I needed help. As I said, I had dealt with this before and knew what was going on. I guess I just felt like I could handle it without medication this time. What I didn't take into consideration was that not only was I having to deal with my issues, but I also had to take care of a newborn and try to keep my marriage in tact as well. It just got too hard. I gave in.

I talked to my doctor and she didn't even hesitate to write me a prescription. I told her what I took in college and she gave me the same medication. I knew it would take effect immediately, but I can honestly say that at almost 2 weeks later, I am feeling so much better.

My friends and family obviously knew something was going on with me. I was told that I was not acting like myself and that made me sad. I am doing so much better now and actually starting to enjoy myself. Mason is really starting to interact with us and falling into a great pattern over the course of the day. I like to think it is because we are all so much happier.

I really thought it was important that I get this all out there because of my audience. Know that you are NOT crazy if you start feeling unlike yourself. Get help. Medication is not a bad thing, talking to someone is not a bad thing. You are only human and there is only so much you can handle. I can't remember who said this, or where I heard it, but it is SO TRUE:

Being a parent is the hardest job you will ever love.

9 comments:

Itty Bitty said...

Hun, I am so happy to hear you are feeling better! And you are absolutely correct: getting help is a good thing!
:)

Colleen said...

So glad you are feeling better and I could definitely see a change in you this past week. You are doing great!

Amy said...

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this with us Tiffany. There's no telling how many people you just helped.

I am so happy to hear you are feeling more like yourself! We love you ;-)

Jessica said...

Tiff, I'm so glad you're feeling better! Hang in there!

Laura said...

Hey Tiff,
I am so happy that you are feeling better! We love you!

angie said...

I'm glad you were smart enough to recognize the signs and get medicated......I think so many moms need to hear that they are NOT alone in this!

Roxanne Schwandt said...

wow, thanks so much for sharing. I visit your blog every now and then. I'm in week 32 and axiously awaiting to meet my little boy. Hubby and I have been married for 4 yrs now, but still the life change is nerve-wracking. Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing with the world. It certainly helps to know you're not alone when the feelings come...
BTW - your little pea-pod is ADORABLE!!!

heidzilla said...

Hey Tiff, just wanted to say that I'm glad that you are getting back to being yourself. It is really brave (I have no better adjective at this time...hmmm) and awesome that you shared this with the world. I've been hearing more and more about PPD and the more brave people like you who talk about it, the more other people may realize they are dealing with the same thing and can be helped. Bravo to you, lady!

Monogramchick said...

thanks for sharing, i am glad you're feeling better and that it didn'g get the best of you!