Code RED Alert

32w 1d

The US has issued a Code RED alert in the Luc household. I repeat, a code RED alert. The belly button is now in full-outie position. It can be seen through shirts, and if it was winter, probably through sweaters as well. Husband is now completely appalled and will not even come close to touching the belly button. Extreme torture can be achieved by pulling up shirt and showing husband the belly button, then proceeding to chase him around the house. Cat looks frightened as well, but will still cuddle up to the belly button. People who feel the belly will always question which limb/finger/toe of the baby's is poking out through your shirt, OR proceed to tell you "I feel something, right THERE!" and rub the belly button. It is the owner of the belly button's job to inform belly-toucher that they are in fact, feeling the belly button.

Pictures of belly button seem to not do it justice, but for your safety, please refer to the image below so that you can recognize a CODE RED when you see one.

The US Has Issued a Code Orange Belly Button Alert

20w 6d

Time for a Belly Button Watch 2008 update. I want to introduce you to my, er, the United State's new code system for Belly Button Alerts:

Code Blue - Normal, not even pregnant
Code Green - Just pregnant, still an innie
Code Yellow - Starting to become shallow
Code Orange - Completely flush with the rest of the belly skin
Code Red - Full-on outie.

Ladies and gents of the internets, we are now at a full code ORANGE, I repeat a full code ORANGE. The in-depth description for a full code orange is as follows: Belly button is completely flush with the rest of the stomach skin. It no longer looks like a cut piece of a hot dog, but a smashed piece of a cut hot dog. The top portion of the belly button now protrudes a small amount out further than the rest of the belly button. Full disgust of husband is now complete. He will start giving you strange looks and is almost afraid of said belly button. He will hesitate when you demand that he feels it, YOU MUST FEEL THIS!

Image of code orange (please ignore the nasty scar of my youth):

Typical response of person attached to code orange belly button:

I hope that your meals for the rest of the week have not been ruined.